Grief Coaching and Spiritual Living

Part Nine Courageous Steps in the Wake of Unimaginable Loss

Dr. Donna

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What does it mean to say goodbye when your heart is shattered? Join us for a powerful episode with Donna, as she courageously shares part nine of her journey through grief following the loss of her son. This episode takes listeners through the immediate aftermath of that heartbreaking day, highlighting the raw emotions and daunting tasks that come with planning a funeral. Donna's narrative offers a glimpse into the unplanned moments of grace she experienced, like the comforting presence of a compassionate flight attendant who helped her navigate the flight home. It's a poignant reflection on how small acts of kindness can offer solace when words fail.

Donna invites us to sit with her as she recounts the logistical and emotional challenges of bringing loved ones together to honor her son’s life. Through her story, we get an intimate look at the courage it takes to make arrangements no parent ever expects to face. Despite the overwhelming numbness, Donna's strength shines through as she finds a way to carry on. This episode is not just a story of grief, but a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the powerful love between a parent and child that persists even in the face of unimaginable loss.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, it's Donna and I'm back for part nine with my grief story. You know, once my son had passed and we were at the hospital and we said our goodbyes, you know we were all in shock and just kind of numb and so you know, we left the hospital and went our separate ways and I went along and stayed with my son's father because he was going to be by himself and you know he just had to sleep and I was trying to process what happened and I really couldn't. But at one point, because he had let people close to him know what happened, they made plans for us to start making funeral arrangements. So we flew home the following day and went to the airport, picked up his car and we went on to the funeral home. We went on to the funeral home I want it for a salon because my mom is buried there and it's a beautiful place. It's up above a hill in West Covina and it's just gorgeous and that's what I wanted for my son to be buried there.

Speaker 1:

And you know it was interesting because on the flight back the same people who flew, the same flight attendants who flew up with me and that you know were there supporting me. One was supporting me the whole time. You know, southwest flights are full right, and they're busy and especially on a short flight they gotta get your drinks and pick up the garbage and you know, on the way up one stayed with me, one of the flight attendants just held my hand, stay with me, and the other two work a full flight, which I think is like 180 people or something on the flight. So Southwest has always been outstanding. They were there for me when I had this surgery years before, and one held my hand because I was flying back and forth to see the surgeon and have surgery. There was the same crew on the way back that was there when I went up. It was interesting because this crew was flying from Berkeley on up to Oakland and now they're flying from Oakland down to Ontario. So it's like the universe kept supportive people there um around us.

Speaker 1:

So after we landed we went to make the funeral arrangements and that was very numbing it's. You know it's very hard to make funeral, funeral arrangements, and that was very numbing it's. You know it's very hard to make funeral arrangements for anybody that you love, and making it for your kid is like okay, my kid's supposed to bury me, I'm not supposed to bury my child and you know it was just overwhelming, but we got through it. You know we picked the casket and you know the plot. We wanted him near my mom but it didn't work out because it had been so many years. My mom died when I was 12, and here I am, you know much older it's. You know it's 24 years later later. So he's buried more up the hill and you know.

Speaker 1:

So we did all of those arrangements and I just remember feeling numb like, okay, it's got to be done. It was uncomfortable but it had to be done. But because it took time to get his body from Stanford, all you know, transport it down to the funeral home, we didn't have a funeral until May 16th, but it I remember just not remembering a lot of things at that point and I really had to sit with what happened because I was just out of my body and out of my mind with losing my son, and so I had got to the point where, okay, we made the funeral arrangements and okay, it's done, and the funeral is going to be May 16th because we need time to get everyone together. We were living in the Bay Area. His well, we lived in the Bay Area, my son was in Reno, I was back in LA, so we had people everywhere, you know, who had to come together for this funeral, who wanted to be there.