Grief Coaching and Spiritual Living

Part12 Harnessing Adversity to Forge a Path Forward

Dr. Donna

Send us a text

What happens when life throws a 13-year-old into the deep end of motherhood amidst the chaos of losing both parents? Discover the incredible resilience of our guest, who shares her powerful journey from the instability of a dysfunctional home to finding hope and purpose through her son, Brandon. With raw honesty, she recounts the heart-wrenching moment of witnessing her mother's heart attack and the struggles that followed. Yet, despite these overwhelming odds, becoming a mother transformed her world, giving her a profound sense of meaning and a reason to defy the expectations of failure.

Through candid reflection, our guest opens up about navigating a life marked by poverty and loss, yet filled with a newfound determination fueled by her son. Witness how her guardian angel, Brandon, not only continued her mother's legacy of love and support but also became the driving force behind her academic success and resolve to prove skeptics wrong. This episode offers a heartfelt narrative of transformation, emphasizing the unbreakable bond between mother and child and the relentless spirit that turns adversity into a journey of inspiration and triumph.

Support the show

Speaker 1:

So I was a teen mom. I had my son at 13. He was born September 6th. My birthday is December 4th, so about three months before my 14th birthday, and by this time my parents had already passed. My father died when I was 10 from emphysema. My parents were chronic smokers and my mom died when I was 12 of a heart attack and I witnessed her having a heart attack and you know she sent me to the store because she knew she was dying and when I came back she was gone. But I had really lost my footing because you know my father was already. They were already separated. He was sick, he was living in Texas, but my mom was already. They were already separated. He was sick, he was living in Texas, but my mom was raising us in Los Angeles and my mom was a solid person. Although we were poor and didn't have much, I felt very loved and supported by my mom and it was very solid to me and when she passed that all crumbled. I live with the elder sibling, but that's a whole other story. That was just dysfunction and you know I meet my son's father because I lived with my sister and my sister was never around. So he's around and next thing, you know I'm pregnant.

Speaker 1:

I know people have everything they can say about teen pregnancy, but for me it was my path and I make no apologies for that. Without my son, I realized I probably would have wanted to die because after losing my mom, I lost everything. We were poor. I mean, we lived in motels, but the last place that we lived was finally a one bedroom apartment where five of us lived, you know, my mom, me and three other siblings. But my mom was like that person I could say you could do anything, you could be anything. She was sick, so she just couldn't. She had a master's degree and everything, but she was sick from all the smoking and stuff. She just couldn't, you know, do everything financially. But she was solid as a person and had a lot of wisdom and awareness and that was all gone. So, you know, I just felt like where do I belong in the world? So, you know, I end up pregnant and I just said you know what? Life's already hard, life's already tough. I'm just going to figure this out somehow and have this kid.

Speaker 1:

And what Brandon did for me is he gave me a sense of meaning of life, because I felt like life didn't matter anymore. You know, I didn't have good caretakers after my mom was gone. All I knew was love. So when she was gone, that was gone and I realized that a lot of people are unhealthy and have dysfunction and don't know how to love. And you know, I realized that a difficult sibling, which I don't understand because we had a loving mom, but know that's a story for another time.

Speaker 1:

So I end up having my son and all of a sudden I had goals again. All of a sudden I'm like, you know, because everybody's waiting for me to fail, right, so they're expecting me to fail, but I'm not going to fail. And you know, I get through school, I get decent grades, you know, sometimes straight A's, and it's all because of this little person who now I see as my guardian angel. I feel like my guardian angel was born to be a continuation of my mother. That's what happened, and my son, you know, became my inspiration to move forward in life.