Grief Coaching and Spiritual Living

Honoring Love by Embracing Happiness

• Dr. Donna

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Haven't you suffered enough?" This simple yet profound question, posed by my old friend Kareem during a chance encounter, sparked a journey of introspection and transformation. After the heartbreaking loss of my son, I realized I had been merely existing, held back by grief. Through this episode, I share my story of wrestling with loss and ultimately finding the courage to live life fully again. It's a reminder that even in the darkest times, there's an opportunity to rediscover our purpose and live at 100%.

Join me as I open up about turning my grief into a mission of authenticity and resilience. From writing a book to engaging in public speaking, I've dedicated myself to navigating life with a new sense of joy and fulfillment. This conversation challenges listeners to confront their own pain and move beyond societal blame, urging them to honor lost loved ones by seeking happiness. Together, let's explore how embracing resilience and living unapologetically can lead to a more complete and fulfilling life, despite the hardships we've faced.

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Dr Donna:

I want to talk about an experience that I had with someone who is very important to me. She was my college buddy in chiropractic school. We were kind of like partners in crime and I met her right away when I transferred up to chiropractic school in the Bay Area from LA. We became fast friends. I will call her Kareem, area from LA. We became fast friends. I would call her Kareem she has another name, but I'm going to say Kareem for her privacy. Well, what happened was I hadn't seen her in years since school ended. Really, you know, life just takes you in different directions and this is before. You know, really, cell phones and all that stuff, and that's how long it's been. It's been about 24 years, wow, since I've been out of chiropractic school and you know, I ran into her at a spiritual event. She had a booth.

Dr Donna:

Now, Korrine was very significant because when we were in chiropractic school we became fast friends. As soon as I transferred there, she was already there. But because I transferred, I was in different court, you know, different levels. So I had different groups that I was with to get the classes that I need. And you know, when we had classes together we were just like partners in crime and we hung out. We had classes together, we were just like partners in crime and we hung out. And you know, she forced me to, you know, use my psychic gifts and she actually set my life in the direction that it went, where, after I graduated chiropractic school, I was coaching and doing readings, and so she's someone that I trust. I mean she could tell me anything and I will believe her Because she comes from this pure non-judgmental place and when she says something, it's not with motive or judgment, it's just. This is what it is, because she has the gift and she's very gifted and she's always been right in my life. So I trust her, so I run into her. After all these years this was back in 2018, so it's what been six years ago I'm running to her and she we're talking. And she said I know what happened to Brandon. I looked at your website and I don't know if she got my message, which I didn't get, her message and you know she said wow. She said wow and you know, sorry, we're talking, but out of nowhere she says this phrase haven't you suffered enough? And I thought why did you say that? Because, living my life, I've been traveling, living in different places, hanging out with friends, socializing different things right, so living my, my life. And I feel like I'm doing fine. I am doing much better than what I was doing, especially when it happened at this time. It would have been 10 years since I lost my son.

Dr Donna:

But when she said that to me, I thought about it when I was driving from the event. That was in Sacramento and I was living in the Bay area, so I had like an hour and a half drive and I thought why does she say that to me? Cause I didn't get a chance to really talk about it there, because she's running her booth and people are coming up and you know I'm going around to different booths and I thought what does that mean? Am I not living the life I think I live and you know, if somebody else would have said this to me, I would have just written it, written it off. But her, when she says something to me, I know to think and I know to reflect, because that is our connection and we always did that for each other. So I fully trust Corrine and what I realized she was saying to me is okay, you're living a good life, but have you fully lived life at 100%, despite what you have gone through.

Dr Donna:

And she felt like, in some ways, I was holding myself back and because of some of the grief and the suffering, and you know, it reminded me that, hey, we suffer when we're grieving, we suffer when we lose someone, but are we supposed to suffer forever? I mean to prove that we love that person. You know, is that what life is supposed to be? So after that situation, you know, I've always been able to manifest. I talked about, you know, many times how I was able to manifest things. I needed to take care of my son because I was poor, raising him while I went through school, and you know, I manifested a place to live in the Bay Area, which was impossible at that time, and so I could finish chiropractic school. I was always manifesting, so I thought I was doing enough.

Dr Donna:

But I felt like, at the same time, thinking about what she said, I was kind of holding myself back some because I didn't have my why. I lost my why. So for you guys, you know what it is If you have a why and you've lost someone, you kind of lose your why, especially if it's a kid, right, a lot of times we do things for the love of our kids, our family. You know they're the reason for some of our dreams and our goals and it's nice to be able to give to the people you love. And my why was gone. So I wasn't doing a lot of things that I could have done, like, for example I think it was like two or three years after my son passed I could have been a psychic on a TV show and I turned it down. I turned down a lot of things because I was just not in the space. There were so many opportunities of things that happened that I just, you know they were opportunities that I didn't take and so I had to realize, whoa, maybe some of it was, I just wasn't emotionally ready, or maybe I just didn't want to thrive as much.

Dr Donna:

I was living, but I wasn't living fully, at 100%. Maybe I was living at 65, 70, 75%. I wasn't living life fully, and that happens a lot when you lose someone. You go through the motions of life. You do a few things, you know, you may take a trip, you may travel, you may spend time with friends, you may go to a celebration, but are you truly living your life fully? Do you feel like. You deserve to live a full and rich life and be whole and experience life with pure joy and live it at 100. Now, when I say life at 100, it doesn doesn't mean perfect and it doesn't mean, you know, having a lot of wealth, but it means living all your dreams, whatever they are for you. So 100% for me is different for you, is different for each person.

Dr Donna:

Right and truthfully, I wasn't fully living at my 100%. I was still suffering, some still grieving, because I was hiding. I wasn't really wanting to be out and about. I had a radio show that I stopped doing. I just wanted to be very introverted, have a couple of friends which I still only keep, a couple of true people around. But you know I just wasn't living fully. So I want you to ask yourself are you living life fully? Are you suffering for any reason because of some type of trauma that has happened to you, or have you made a decision to live life fully?

Dr Donna:

So what I started doing is I started writing it out and talking to my coach about you know the grief that was still left behind and you know I wanted to do better at living, better with grief, was still excelling with life and living life more to the fullest, and so I got more into the energy work and somatic work and just doing a lot of inner work to say that I have to create a new why. So guess what? You have to create a new, why you are being forced to create a new, why Plan A fell apart right, just beyond control. It's gone. My plan A is gone. A lot of us has had our plan A taken away from us, so now you're going to plan B and so you unfortunately may be on plan C, plan D, but you still can have a full life at plan B, plan c and so on. It's just gonna look different.

Dr Donna:

And so part of me living life at 100 was writing a book about my son, talking more about it. You know, being outspoken online. Sometimes I'm very outspoken, sometimes I trigger people. It was me manifesting things and doing summits and being on podcasts. It was just different. It was, you know, stuff that I stopped hiding from and talking about things that are uncomfortable. When you think about it. Grief is not sexy or fun. It's not the fun stuff, and I wanted to do fun stuff.

Dr Donna:

I said what if I be real and talk about navigating life with grief and say, hey, there's some hard moments, but there are some good moments and there are some fun moments and you can live a full life and you don't have to suffer. And if you think about the person that you've lost, they don't want you to suffer. My son would no way in hell want me to suffer, and so I had to ask myself am I suffering? Why am I suffering? What am I going to do about it? So I really explored it and I would say to yourself, if you're not living life at the fullest, what's really? In a way, a lot of times we get in our own way and we don't want to discuss that. Sometimes in society there's a lot of blaming, a lot of excuses, but really we get in our own way and sometimes it's for legitimate reasons.

Dr Donna:

Grief, you know, sadness, divorce, something right, something awful happens, some traumatic event, but if you think about it, you're not supposed to continue that way. You are supposed to find your way back to living a full life despite what has happened. And it can be done. We see people do it all the time. We call it being resilient. So, yes, you can be resilient. And after having that triggering moment with Korrine, I became more resilient and I started living life fuller, and so I want to ask you no matter what you've gone through in life, haven't you suffered enough? You know I would like to say yes for you, but only you can answer that and hopefully you say yes, I suffered enough and I deserve to live a more fuller, authentic, abundant whole life, at a hundred percent.